Steven Seagal is one of Hollywood’s more colorful action heroes. Throughout his career, he’s gone from the big leagues to the straight-to-video market, while claims about his past have come under increasing scrutiny and doubt.
Nevertheless, Seagal is an entertaining guy. He’s not big on the whole acting thing, but his roles in such classics as Marked For Death and Out For Justice made him a household name. Today we’re going to take lookg at 5 of the cringiest Steven Seagal moments, and 5 of the coolest.
“Anybody See Richie?” (Cringe)
Out For Justice Segal plays Detective Gino Felino (really?), an NYPD detective with close ties to local businesses and the mafia. When crazed maniac Richie Madano kills Gino’s partner Bobby Lupo, he makes it his mission to get revenge. Gino searches for Richie at a diner run by Vinnie’s brother and proceeds to soften up the patrons in a memorable brawl. Segal conjures up his “best” Italian accent and repeatedly yells, “Has anyone seen Richie? Does anyone know why Richie made Bobby Lupo?” horror-worthy to say the least, and the last frame of the scene seems to have been recorded long after the end of the day’s shooting.RELATED:
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Battling Screwface (Cool)
Marked For Death in the 1990s is perhaps Seagal’s best film. In addition to the breathtaking action scenes and super-violence, this is also one of Seagal’s finest performances. This is partly due to the fact that he is not an invincible superhero and gets his fair share of punches throughout the movie. The final battle with Jamaican voodoo drug lord Shurupface is a two-way affair. First, Seagal mistakenly believes that he killed Wintface during the attack on his house, but the villain reveals a tricky secret – in fact, he is a set of identical twins. The latter throws everything he has at Seagal to avenge his brother’s murder, creating one of the best action scenes in any Seagal movie.
“Is That The Best You Got, Boy?” (Cringe)
The Glimmer Man Segal plays Detective Jack Cole, a lethal former intelligence officer who is in an attempt to lead a more peaceful life. Unfortunately, the final scene isn’t all it needs to be: a poorly edited fight scene with repetitive footage of Seagal fighting his nemesis Cunningham. After the latter lands a well-placed punch, Segal replies, “Is that the best you’ve got, boy?” before fending off a flurry of attacks, then adding, “If it’s the best you’ve got, I’ll just have to kill you.” It will go down in history as one of the dumbest screenplay moments in Seagal’s line of films.
Battling Strannix (Cool)
Under Siege is probably Seagal’s most famous gunman. It brought together a very eclectic cast, including Tommy Lee Jones, who played the main villain of the film, Bill Strangex. In addition to munching scenes with his hippie-infused mix of sociopathic anarchism, Jones also goes head-to-head with Segal in one of the film’s key action scenes. After his trademark Jones-style performance, the two engage in a knife fight in which Strannyx displays some serious skill, but not enough to defeat Seagal, who gouges out his own eye before plunging a knife into his skull and then tossing his head up.
“To The Blood Bank”. (Cringe)
Hard To Kill is one of Seagal’s most memorable action films, in which Seagal plays LAPD Detective Mason Storm, who awakens from a seven-year coma after corrupt cops murder his family. With a desire for revenge (naturally), Storm begins to pursue his family’s killers to a possible showdown with the corrupt United States Senator who orchestrated it all. As Storm keeps a close eye on the meeting between the senator and his henchmen, the former jokes about “taking it to the bank”. Seagal calmly replies, in trademark style, “I’ll take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!RELATED:
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Battling Richie (Cool)
Out For Justice This downright obnoxious character plays cat and mouse with Seagal’s Gino Felino, though the two never meet until the film’s final scene. When they finally meet face-to-face, Gino unleashes an 85-minute rage on Richie, contained on the silver screen, beating the living tar out of the villain in one of his most imaginative fight sequences.
Steven Seagal Runing (Cringe)
Any scene in which Steven Seagal runs is sure to trigger an unprecedented level of foul language. We first witnessed this strange act in Segal’s first Hollywood film Above The Law, and since then it has become one of the actor’s calling cards. We’re not entirely sure what Seagal was thinking when he decided to run this way; wringing his wrists as if he had just finished washing the dishes. Either way, it doesn’t quite suit Segal’s tough guy, and the lack of self-awareness on the part of the actor makes him even more rambling.